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Saturday, August 18, 2012

the slings and arrows never felt better


I spent part of my weekend under a tent by a sidewalk, trying to sell my pictures to drunk people that walked by…suffering the slings and arrows as it were….technically known as “fruit-standing”…I live in Geneva-on- the-lake ohio…it’s a tiny little resort town devoid of any culture save that of drinking ad vomitus…there are about 13 bars in a quarter mile…a perfect environment to find those seeking “art” to hang above the couch, right?...perhaps not…ive been doing this off and on for the past two summers and have found that selling pictures in a place where people come to get shitty drunk, is like selling toilet paper at a funeral…people will purchase it…its just not a good time right now…I still do it…my best effort looks like 20hrs without food then two bottles of liquid marketing campaign... I sometimes end up drunk and obnoxious…last night for example…I really enjoy saying outrageous things to strangers when I find myself in that state…I call it “what does it take to get punched in the nose?”…surprisingly, a lot more than you would think…if you say it fast enough and with the proper amount of alcohol to lubricate the words as they come out…...it is a truly exhilarating experience to insult a man twice your size well past the point at which you thought you would need cosmetic surgery and get away with it [by the way, most real men ARE twice my size or better]…of course I only sold three pictures but let me assure you, I feel damn good about the sales that I made…after what they put up with from my drunken ass, those poor bastards must have really loved my pictures a lot to still hand me money…I almost made enough to cover what I spent on the marketing campaign…

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