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Thursday, August 16, 2012

the homely prostitute

so....i have been a photographer for almost 10 yrs the end of last summer, i began dabbling in selling my pictures...i had never even thought to sell them...for me, taking, processing and printing photos was just another way to keep from dwelling on the obvious inevitability of life (especially mine)...but after many thousands of dollars wasted on torn up photos and boxes of pictures left to rot in the closet, i decided (at the near-violent insistence of family and friends) that it was time to give it a genuine effort...  so here i am...i bought a website, spent more money, and...we shall see......i have always been reticent about selling something so personal to me...its not the sentimentality...i suppose its just run-of-the-mill see, i always believed that just because i loved the images that i was producing, was no guarantee that they would be loved by others...i felt like a hideously deformed prostitute with an extremely visible case of psoriasis...who could ever love this dreck that i was peddling? could they pay money for something that i (incredibly enlightened and vastly intelligent as i obviously am) considered to be just a disgusting sticky residue of my unceasing angst and depression...i saw myself walking around on the corner of E.55th and Prospect, shaking my filth at anyone who drove by...good that really me?...well, go figure...some people actually like this shit enough to buy it...who'd-a-thunk-it? now, here i am, up to my ankles (head first) in the shameless pimping of what passes for my soul...oh, well...whats the worst that could happen? acceptance...dear god!

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